Tacky is as Tacky Does!

Here’s the problem with the holidays……Work Christmas Parties! I know, I know, you all love going to the parties with your co-workers, and especially love the raffle prizes (who wouldn’t love an electric kitchen knife or maybe a faux-pearl encrusted wall clock?), but have you ever been the one that had to plan the event? Being an HR nerd can take the fun right out of any holiday and/or party. You don’t get to just go enjoy the "elementary-school-carnival" style games, you actually are the one who gets credit for concocting the fun! Or the one who gets credit for the lameness in its entirety (which is usually the case)!

This year, as it is the year of cost cutting and fiscal responsibility, we held our company party in our warehouse. Many employees were a bit upset because we weren’t going to have a cool off-site dinner party. Amidst all the remarks about how lame it is to have a party on the shipping dock, a masterful plan was born. Our party committee, ummm, I mean Heather and I, decided to just embrace the un-cool warehouse venue factor and run with a theme of "A Cliché Christmas…..All Things Tacky for the Holidays." Of course, I can call it that for purposes of this post, but at work, everything was strictly "Winter" or "Holiday", keeping it completely PC. The fact that we had wreaths, red and green presents, Santa wrapping paper, Christmas tree centerpieces, lights, ornaments, fruitcake, and egg nog was merely a coincidence. None of this had anything to do with the 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus. I promise! It was all just stuff we had lying around that happened to support our theme. Winter. Non-descript Holiday Season. That's it!

The jumping off point was Heather’s amazing brain child, Tacky Christmas Sweaters! Everything else snowballed from there. Ha, get it, snowballed? Snow, winter, Christmas! So Clever! What are the most cliché Christmas traditions? Popcorn tins, tangled lights, fruitcake, egg nog, wrapping paper, and the ultimate: living room family photos!

Let the fun ensue:

Sleigh Rides for All. Adam, you are definitely on Santa’s "Good" list for constructing this fine piece of transportation! However, you have gone straight to the top of OSHA’s "Naughty" list!

Fruitcake Curling – Those things could really fly!

Crappy Gift Return – Kick that bad boy back; nobody wants it! Can you say store credit?

Winner of the Tacky Sweater Contest!

The crowd favorite – Egg Nog Shooters (straight egg nog, nothing fancy! Yuck!) Teams competed to see how many shots they could down in 15 seconds, without any hands!

Two teams tied, and held a tie breaker round. They tied again! Oooooh so much egg nog! Another tie breaker commenced. This time they chugged whole jugs for 30 seconds. It was nearly another tie, but a winner was named by about 1/8 inch!

A party isn’t a party without a little puke! Just as I put the camera down, the guy on the left was revisited by his egg nog along with his entire lunch! The best part of all this disgustingness: the teams had no idea what they were competing for. Based on previous parties, I guess they thought we’d have a good prize for them in the end. But in keeping with our tacky Christmas theme, the winning team was awarded ever-so-delightful popcorn tins, the kind with 3 Flavors - super deluxe! I don’t park in the employee parking lot anymore. I’m fairly concerned a disgruntled egg nog chugger will slash my tires for forcing such torture on them in return for nothing more than a $5 Wally-World special!

In the end, a team was crowned the winners of all the Reindeer Games and given their gold ornament medals and popcorn tin trophies.

However, an accounting error was brought to everyone's attention by the opposing team which resulted in the winners being stripped of their medals. They were forced to bestow their medals and trophies upon the rightful winners, which made them very sad.

I hope my coworkers don’t mind me sharing these pics. They are just so stinking funny!

Such a stylish living room for photos, eh? Yes, the beams showing between the backdrop sheets was ever so trendy. Very industrial chic!

This reminds me why I go to work. There truly is a great bunch at people at the Big Red ‘S’! Thanks Heather for your ideas and super craftiness! You’ve got skills, girl! And Joan, you saved the whole day by being banished to the front desk. You rock! I'm sorry. One day we'll figure out that whole thing! Maybe in the new building we'll just have all our parties in the front office!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

Heights of Awesomeness!

As Christmas approaches, the party planning at work has begun. With a small budget and even smaller timeline to pull off a party for 85 people, creativity has beome essential. With one simple thought, Tacky Christmas Sweaters, (thank you Heather!!!) our mad planning skills have jumped into action. The party theme has evolved into all things Tacky and Cliche for Christmas. More on that later.

What's really important, is that during discussions of lame holiday traditions, our thoughts naturally turned to our childhoods and the trends of the 80s and 90s. So join me if you will as I dig up some references to things I'll bet you've forgotten all about. Even 5 years ago, much of this would have mortified me to admit I was involved in. But I guess I'm officially an old lady now and can finally look back and laugh at myself. Here we go...

• Units. Remember Units? I was never all the way cool enough to have actual Unit branded apparel, but I do remember some stretch pants that could have passed off as such.
• Charm Necklaces. Yes, those were the mark of a cool 6th grader. Most definitely a must have item was the miniature notebook with real 1/2" x 1/2" paper that snapped shut.
• Esprit bags. If you didn't have one, you may as well not even bother showing up for school. However, you may obtain a pass that will excuse you from lameness if you acquired the knock-off version from the Copper Rivet. Yes, that was acceptable until a true Esprit bag could be obtained.
• Layered socks. How many colors did you wear with your stirrup pants and/or Units? We must have looked like a parade of caterpillars.
• Peg-leg pants. This was an art. Everyone had their own method of tucking and rolling the bottom of their pant legs. You were a fashion-god if you could actually cut off your own circulation. And remember Girbaud jeans? Ya, I never had any. Outwardly, it was because who would be so stupid as to spend that much money at JMR for a pair of jeans. Inwardly, I just wished I made enough money working at the bakery to get a pair of jeans from JMR.
• Rugby shirts. Perfect pairing with the Girbaud peg-leg jeans.
• Overalls. Yes, my sophomore year was a quest to see how many ways I could wear my Guess overalls so it looked like I had more than the one pair. My 10th grade yearbook photo said it all: Camp Beverly Hills t-shirt and Guess overalls with just one strap clasped.
• Hippie Grunge. When actual cool fashion escaped you, it was a blessed relief to have grunge to fall back on. Birckenstocks and plaid shirts. What could be easier? And if you could pull off wearing leather slippers to school, you were welcomed with open arms into the granola crowd.
• Big Bangs. No journey through the horrors of our wayward youth would be complete with out a nod to the greatest hair trend of all time. It was a good time to own stock in hairspray companies. How high can you go? I know, you're all hoping for photos at this point. Well, it ain't gonna happen. Sorry, I'm all about a good laugh, but not at my own expense.

Now that we've got the ball rolling, what other incredibly bitchin' trends need mentioning?