I am uncertain if you're the one to whom I should direct this letter. To be honest, I don't know what your job is. Maybe I should be launching my complaints with Mother Nature. Do you work together? Are you maybe a project manager in her corporation? Regardless of the relationship and since I have no one else to blame, you get the brunt of my rant.
I would like to lodge a formal grievance relative to the amounts of extremely heavy and wet snow now canvassing my property. Some pretty, fluffy flakes softly blanketing the ground is one thing, but this watery mess weighing down the trees as well as my shovel is, quite frankly, ridiculous! You've got it out of your system now, so I will assume the remainder of the storms you have planned for the season will be appropriately fluffy and sparkly; not slushy and liquidy.
Thank you for your consideration of my request. With that being said, I suppose it would only be fair to temper the above with some favorable comments on the snow situation. Don't let this go to your head, remember that I am still an unhappy winter customer.
- I re-discovered my free balaclava (thank you Outdoor Retailer Show and Snowfish). It actually kept my nose warm while shoveling.
- My hours of work in the gym have translated to the shoveling arena where I poop out a good 20 minutes later than I used to.
- I am reminded once again what wonderful neighbors we have. Thank you to whomever keeps plowing us out before I can get to it. I feel like a slug when that happens, but it frees up my time, which is needed to clear the back patio to prevent flooding.
- I get to put my new 4-wheel-drive Rav4 to good use. It really loves the snowy roads. Makes me feel safe and in control.
- There's just nothing cuter than kitty paw prints in the snow.
- The girls are so happy these days when they're sledding or building an igloo in the backyard. If nothing else, I should be grateful for the snow because of this.
- I get to imagine my neighbors laughing in the warmth of their family rooms while they hear me grunting, groaning, even yelling out loud with each scoop of the shovel. It's like listening to a Williams sisters tennis match.
- Despite my dismay at the manual labor, I can't help but think of how lucky we are to have our health.
Like I mentioned earlier, Mr. Winter, don't let these thoughts of gratitude lead you to think I want more sticky, wet snow. A nice fluffy coating on Christmas Eve will be welcomed, but after that, you can be done.
Kind Regards,
Snow Recipient #11675