Important Letter

Dear Old Man Winter,

I am uncertain if you're the one to whom I should direct this letter. To be honest, I don't know what your job is. Maybe I should be launching my complaints with Mother Nature. Do you work together? Are you maybe a project manager in her corporation? Regardless of the relationship and since I have no one else to blame, you get the brunt of my rant.

I would like to lodge a formal grievance relative to the amounts of extremely heavy and wet snow now canvassing my property. Some pretty, fluffy flakes softly blanketing the ground is one thing, but this watery mess weighing down the trees as well as my shovel is, quite frankly, ridiculous! You've got it out of your system now, so I will assume the remainder of the storms you have planned for the season will be appropriately fluffy and sparkly; not slushy and liquidy.

Thank you for your consideration of my request. With that being said, I suppose it would only be fair to temper the above with some favorable comments on the snow situation. Don't let this go to your head, remember that I am still an unhappy winter customer.

1. I re-discovered my free balaclava (thank you Outdoor Retailer Show and Snowfish). It actually kept my nose warm while shoveling.

2. My hours of work in the gym have translated to the shoveling arena where I poop out a good 20 minutes later than I used to.
3. I am reminded once again what wonderful neighbors we have. Thank you to whomever keeps plowing us out before I can get to it. I feel like a slug when that happens, but it frees up my time, which is needed to clear the back patio to prevent flooding.
4. I get to put my new 4-wheel-drive Rav4 to good use. It really loves the snowy roads. Makes me feel safe and in control.
5. There's just nothing cuter than kitty paw prints in the snow.
6. The girls are so happy these days when they're sledding or building an igloo in the backyard. If nothing else, I should be grateful for the snow because of this.



7. I get to imagine my neighbors laughing in the warmth of their family rooms while they hear me grunting, groaning, even yelling out loud with each scoop of the shovel. It's like listening to a Williams sisters tennis match.
8. Despite my dismay at the manual labor, I can't help but think of how lucky we are to have our health.

Like I mentioned earlier, Mr. Winter, don't let these thoughts of gratitude lead you to think I want more sticky, wet snow. A nice fluffy coating on Christmas Eve will be welcomed, but after that, you can be done.

Kind Regards,

Snow Recipient #11675

Mundane Musings

I feel like writing, but I don't have a topic. No story to tell. Nothing. I'm just sitting here with my fingers on home row tapping on the keys waiting to be inspired. A cat walks by. That only reminds me that GusGus ran away for two days, but now he's back. That's not interesting. I just made chili. Also pretty lame. Delicious, but not interesting. Hey, look at that: four lines already. It's as if I was writing. If I were at the airport or in a Starbucks, someone would think I'm important because I have so much to type. They will think I have colleagues with which I converse via email. They would be wrong. I'm just typing to hear the cool clicky sounds the laptop keys make.

Oh, grapes! We didn't discuss the grapes. How could I be so careless? See me ponder the wonder that is the perfect bunch of grapes.

And then bask in the glory of the green grapes......................................

...............................and then the purple grapes.

These all got squooshed and became the 2009 troupe de juice - extra pulp.

And now, basket-o-fluff.

And..........footstool-o-feline.

My eyes are itchy. Gotta go, bye.

Exercise Enlightenment

I love my 30's! So much wisdom is found in these years that so stealthily (is that a word?) crept up on me. There is so much knowledge amassing here that I will be able to take my 40's off from acquiring knowledge to simply wallow in my elderly status.

One such awakening occurred last night at the gym. You've all seen this chickie at the gym, right? I'm sure her name is probably Mindy or Holly or something irritatingly sweet.

We hate her, right? Stupid girl, with her tight buns and her effulgent perkiness! Ya, she's a real bitch! And there I am on the elliptical with my non-tight buns and perkless presence huffing and puffing away. It was in the throes of this agony at mile marker 1.33 and heart rate 148 that it dawned on me: I should be thanking this girl we all hate. As long as she is prancing around in her tight little suit, with her perfect assets drawing the attention of everyone else in the gym, nobody is gazing in horror at the sight of me fighting the battle of the bulge.

It's bad enough having to go to the gym and exert actual effort, but the added terror of people staring and ridiculing the fat chick makes it all the more unappealing. But thanks to fitness gal, the only thing I have to worry about is becoming exhausted and falling flat on my face on the treadmill. Now that would be a sight I wouldn't blame people for watching.

Serendipitous Occassion

The official stance of the administration is:  I hate to travel. Oddly enough, despite the administration’s aforementioned declaration, every time I travel, it seems there’s a contradiction in this position. I cannot travel without being entertained by the display of peculiarity that the public so freely offers. At this time, let me insert the fact that I myself provide plenty of fodder for other bloggers’ observational musings. I am that person who seeks the perfect, isolated seat and will circle and backtrack until it is found. Yes, when I get to the end of a terminal having not located this elusive resting spot, I will pull out my boarding pass, or check my watch, or look quizzically at the gate number so as to appear that I have another purpose in that moment besides just wandering. Or how about the scene of me bending over to adhere a secret, smiley-face sticker on the wall in an inconspicuous place for my husband to find next time he flies through that particular airport. I fully expect TSA to approach me one day and take me away for questioning.

But my own eccentricities are beside the point. Or maybe they ARE they point. I haven’t quite figured it all out.

One thing you should know:  the trip I speak of today, heading for Columbus, Ohio, began on my seventh wedding anniversary, 10/11/2009. (10/11 chosen for its idiot proof consecutive numbers). I told Stretch that my present for him this year was to travel two time zones closer to him; we’ll spend the night together – only seven hours apart. What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart, and so very thoughtful.

Anyhooo, this trip began with a note in my car from little Bear. Beside the note was a bag of eight cookies; one snickerdoodle and seven Chips Ahoy. She wrote, and I quote, “Dear Mom. Happy Anniversary.  I love you and I will miss you a lot while you are gone. So here are 7 cookies each represent each year you have been with dad. And the snikerdoodle is for the road. I will miss you A LOT. Love Mom.” How cute, I left myself a note. Or Bear was in a hurry and wasn’t being paid to proofread. How cute is that?

Off to a good start, I’d say. The remainder of the day brought many fantastic occurrences, ie: fashion-gone-wrong, confused and angry travelers, $4.00 bottles of water, toilet seat wrappers (no, not seat covers – plastic wrappers that automatically rotate around the bowl for each new visitor), pooches who must have an aversion to doggy-daycare since they simply must travel with the pretty people on the plane, “guacamole holders” (aka – chips) at the Mexican restaurant in the Chicago airport, and of course the latest on the Jon and Kate plus 8 divorce drama as told by People magazine. I should have warned you to take a big breath before that last sentence.

If you're struggling to tie in the title of this post, I'll make it a little easier for you now. It may have been my anniversary upon departure, which is exciting enough in and of itself, but my return trip fell on Columbus Day. How many of you can say that you spent Columbus Day in Columbus? I'm just the coolest ever! To commemorate the occassion, I purchased myself a "Nothing Tips Like a Cow" t-shirt in the Columbus airport. Yup, just the coolest!

A little life lesson for you: be grateful for each day and take advantage of the little life lessons along the way. Are you listening? I’m talking to you - very unattractive couple wearing the matching, smiley-face bandanas on your heads. This is your little life lesson: do not ever, ever wear those again! In fact, it is important that you get rid of them as quickly as possible! Not even a muppet would be caught in public looking like that! Advice for myself: a post with two smiley-face references means it’s time to close the laptop and find something meaningful to write about.

With that thought in mind, I bid you adieu from Dallas, where I sit waiting for my flight which has been delayed two hours. Did I mention I hate to travel?

Best Random Event of the Day

Am I wrong to think this is weird?

....... And let me preface this by saying that I am certainly not in a place to pass judgement. I am only making an observation and adding my opinion on top of it. That's not passing judgement, is it?

So I'm at the Maverik minding my own business (or secretly watching everyone else's business) waiting for the "slowest-drink-filling-customer-ever" (I believe that was their full name). Seriously, he waited for every last bubble of carbonation to wear off and then squirted three more shots of pop into his cup and waited for more bubbles to die down. You know who I'm talking about. Finally he filled his cup to the brim with beverage-not-foam so as not to waste any of his $0.89 on 1/16th-inch of an empty drink cup. At this point you think he'd move out of the way and let the tall, attractive, Rav4 driving woman behind him access the ice. You would think, but no. He continued to stand in front of the whole fountain whilst he reached for a lid and carefully attached it to his cup. Don't get me started on the agonizing task of de-wrapping a straw. I began to wonder just how much I need the fountain, caffeine free Diet Coke, or at what point I will actually clear my throat very loudly, say,"Excuse me," and push him out of the way. Just as I nearly decided to ditch my empty cup, he scooted aside to reach the paper towels which were employed to wipe the drips off his cup. I did not have time to follow up on the disposition of the drink, but I am quite certain the Queen must have enjoyed her perfectly prepared beverage very much.

I am sure you are thinking, "This happens to me every dang day. What is so interesting about that?" To which I might reply, "You are right, it's not interesting. But what happened next is actually the point of my story. I was just trying to see how long you would stick with it."

Continuing on........I made my way to the beloved ice dispenser where another guy snuck in next to me. I was very considerate (unlike some people) and gave him as much room as possible. From the corner of my eye I saw him grab a 32 oz. cup, fill it partly with water, swish it around, then dump the water out. This motion could only have been done in an attempt to rid the cup of Maverik cooties or those pesky germs plastic cups pass to one another by being stacked on top of each other.

Oh well, not a big deal. I just happened to notice it.

When I got to the checkout stand with my Garden Salad, not Chef Salad - because the turkey chunks are gross - and the long anticipated caffeine free Diet Coke (baby steps people.....I've cut out the caffeine, the carbonation still holds a special place in my heart), Mr. Cootie-phobe appeared again. This time, he's holding his very clean cup, a Red Bull, and one of the Maverik classics - the flat bread with melted cheese on top.

Back to my original question.......am I wrong to think this is weird? If the guy is so very concerned with what he puts in his body, as was evidenced by the cursory cup washing, it's hard to believe that his lunch of choice consisted of a toxic energy drink and a deliciously cheesy dish which, when gone, leaves behind about 1/4 cup of grease in the little paper tray. Once again, I have NO room to judge. I'm just sayin'....................

You saw this grandtastic photo from the last post. What you didn't see was the even more awesome quote I found to go with it. I love when someone out in cyberland pegs us to a T better than I ever could have!
In case it's not blaringly obvious, I miss Stretch so bad it hurts! Having him home on leave was heaven, but also a little bit of hell (aka, the airport scene!). Even though it hurts now, I sit here feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for our life together. In the past two weeks I've seen reports of families going through unimaginable tragedies. These two in particular have stuck with me for some reason. One military wife loses her husband in a motorcycle crash after he finally gets home from several deployments. Another family this week lost their 12-year-old son in an automobile/bicycle accident. Have I told my family I love them today? We run around so busy, worrying about our "problems", when in reality, we have the world by the tail. We have eachother, we have love.

Girls, you are my angels. You are my light and my joy. I'm sorry you've had McDonald's for dinner twice in a week. I'm sorry I yelled yesterday. I'm sorry I bought the fancy mascara when you warned me not to. I'm annoyed that you knew why they make the garbage can holes small and round at restaurants. I hate when you use common sense to solve problems I couldn't figure out because I was overthinking it. I am so happy that you let me take pictures of you where ever we go. I love watching you when you feed the bunnies. When I watch you two argue, I laugh because it's like watching my own sister and me 25 years ago; then I ache over the pain I must have caused her, then rejoice because we are now best friends, which gives me hope for you two! Your giggles from downstairs, when you don't know I'm listening, warm my heart like nothing else. The way you halfway get ready in your own bathroom and halfway in the upstairs bathroom baffles me. I love how you strive to do a good deed every day; even if it's not for each other. It's fascinating to watch as you learn about the world around you. I know I'll never be lonely when I pee because you'll always be there to sit on the side of the tub and talk to me. (I know, TMI, but really, it's like Pavlovian response.......I go potty and there they are!) I'm thankful that you understand why I work full time and am even more thankful that you have grown up so well adjusted considering the years of daycare dropoffs.

Bearyboo, you are so darling sitting across from me in your witch cape. You are so sweet to have put up all the Halloween decorations and picked a load of grapes tonight. It kind of creeps me out how fast you can type. Your little fingers going a million miles an hour is a little freaky, and why that doesn't translate to the piano is a head-scratcher. Your debate skills are incredible. I pray you will harness that power for the good. I can see you as a lawyer, just like Elle Woods, pink everywhere with a little dog in your bag, winning every case you argue. I just melt when you leave me little notes. Your checklists make me smile. I love that you have become the babysitter everyone expected your sister to be. Your daily poo cracks me up. Your midnight puking does not. I love the way you still sleep with your hands nestled under your head just like when you were a baby. I rejoice that your forehead still smells the same when I kiss it as it did when you were two.

Squiddles, I only bought the purple and pink shirt because you looked so cute in yours. I love that you say good-bye to your sister in the mornings when you leave for school; even when just seconds earlier you were fighting with her. I marvel that you always do what is asked of you even when it's your sister's mess I ask you to clean up. I can't believe you are already in size 10 shoes. Sorry about passing you all the tall genes, Stretch Jr. Your sense of humor is so refreshing, yet I sometimes worry about the monster I've created! I wish I could take away the angst of struggling in English class. Your relationship with that Lello-cat is the sweetest thing ever! I think it's funny that you wear mismatched socks. It's such a contrast to see you with such long spindly fingers and such a tiny button nose? I worry about how you sleep with all the covers over your head. I love that you shoot wrong-eyed and are still a wicked good shot!

To my lobster, you complete me. You complete our family. It's a whole different home when you're gone. Even just three days later. I love how you love your truck. I envy your energy. Your retard finger is so sad, but lucky to be hooked to you, otherwise, it never stood a chance. Your shower wisdom still teaches me more than any college degree ever could. I am grateful to you for working so hard for our family. My heart aches to think of what you endure while you're over there. I burst with pride talking about you to others. I can't believe I loved that dang shotgun! I think it's funny what an effect you have on Harley. I never followed football; now I feel a chill run through me when I see black and gold. What the heck's that about? Only for you would I agree to a "shrine" in my family room. Our girls are the luckiest kids in the world to have you as their Dad. I love that my Dad loves you, and that no matter how hard I tried not to, I married my Dad anyway. Thank you for always being you; and for figuring you out. Thank you for helping me figure me out. Thank you for buying me the buffet, and the juicer, and the little Wyatt Earp. No husband has ever been more thoughtful!

So, if that doesn't cover it, let me say it again: I love you, family! Each of you separately, and all of you together.

Home on Leave

We are so lucky! Stretch was able to come home for 15 days on leave from the Middle East. It was the most perfect two weeks ever! I'm still in a bit of a funk after having sent him back for the remainder of his tour, thus, my clever wit eludes me today. So I will let these pictures tell the story of our wonderful time together.