Waste of a Day

I really could not be more pleased with my adventures today. Well, I guess if I had planted my tulips like I wanted and finished the 2005 scrapbook like I'd planned, then I would be a bit more pleased, but I'll take what I can get.

Stretch is off hunting again. I was out late last night (not as late as Lasca wanted, I'm sure!) so I just wanted to sleep in this morning. Rumor has it that Stretch got up and left around 4:00am, but since I didn't go to bed until around 2:00am, I was a phase or two past unconscious for that particular event. Nature began calling at 5:00 and really pissed me off - pun intented! My sleeping in was being interrupted. Fortunately, at 5:02, the sleeping in picked up where it left off and I was in happy-ville again till about 10:30.

Finally, I put feet on ground, and make an attempt at being productive. After pacing around the house for a bit, finishing off a bowl of Honey Buzzers, and checking my junk email, my comfy bed sounded far more appealing than anything else the day had in store. Squid came and joined me and we watched Untamed and Uncut on Animal Planet. It was hilarious; and proof on video of Darwin's theory of evolution - you know, survival of the fittest, or survival of the not-stupid, as the case may be. They played a video of a lady who jumped a guard rail at a zoo to take a closer picture of a polar bear. The polar bear reached through the bars, grabbed her, and sank his teeth into her thigh! It was the perfect example of what my dad always said, "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid!"

After napping on and off all day, I figured we better get out of the house. So Squid, the Bear and I went shopping for Halloween costumes. Herein lies the outstanding outcome to the day. I won't tell you what the costumes are, you'll have to wait until the Halloween post! But I can show you this...

As you can see, our purchases could not have been more perfect. But even better than what we did buy at the Savers, was what we didn't buy! How could I deprive other shoppers of the joy of finding this product on display?Oh my holy flippin' heck! Yes, nothing sells a pair of 30-year-old nylons like topless fat hotties wearing tights! The best part was, they had more than one package of these lovely Big Mama nylons!

Then we stopped at the Wally-World to get kitty litter. Ya, we live a rock star life!! Since Squid had me totally grossed out about the cooties we contracted at the Savers, we had to hit the restroom for some hand sanitizing. Since my bladder cannot pass a restroom without making a deposit, I stopped by a stall where I found the brand name of the toilet paper holder prominently displayed....Stefco! I wonder when I'll start receiving royalty checks?

When I came out, Squid asked if I was the one who took a picture? She heard the camera clicking sound my phone made, and got a little creeped out thinking someone was in the Wal-Mart restroom taking pictures. Luckily, it was just her crazy mother!


Now we're sitting at home in the office, wondering when Stretch will come home, and watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. My children have never seen it and just aren't appreciating it as they should! Geez, darn generational gap!


Well, did it work? Do you feel much better about your life after hearing about my day? Good, I live to serve!